if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Damn victory sex feels great
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
