she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
