You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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