I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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