i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize