I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
