i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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