Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
