The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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