when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize