what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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