have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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