I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
