those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
