I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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