yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
