based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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