i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
