Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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