It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize