So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
