I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I love you. Go after that dick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
