i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
