By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
