Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
