you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
