Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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