My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
