I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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