Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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