my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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