I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
