I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
