I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
