You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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