ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
