everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
