so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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