i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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