my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
