Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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