he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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