my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
