Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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