____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
