You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
