it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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