every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
