i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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