The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the day after is always just damage control
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize