today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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