I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
