I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
