Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
