i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize