in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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