to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You ate ashes out of my bong
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
