That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
