I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
